Lately, I've learned that jealousy is ugly and does not look good on me. This isn't the jealousy that most people deal with. The jealousy I am talking about is the jealousy of a grieving mother.
As happy as I should be for all the new Mommies & Daddies out there that are bringing their new baby home or even posting pictures of them for everyone to see. I can not help but to be jealous. I wonder... Why did this happen to me? Don't get me wrong.. It isn't that I am not happy for them. It's just that I want what they have. I want to hold my sweet baby in my arms, but I can't do that. All I have are memories.
Everyday, I walk by a nursery that is empty. I walk by my son's urn. I cuddle in his blanket and cry. Always looking for a sign of him. And my sweet baby always shows me that he is still here beside me.
One day I will get over this jealousy. Right now it is still just too fresh. <3
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