Saturday, February 9, 2013

Jealousy is ugly.

Lately, I've learned that jealousy is ugly and does not look good on me. This isn't the jealousy that most people deal with. The jealousy I am talking about is the jealousy of a grieving mother. 

As happy as I should be for all the new Mommies & Daddies out there that are bringing their new baby home or even posting pictures of them for everyone to see. I can not help but to be jealous. I wonder... Why did this happen to me? Don't get me wrong.. It isn't that I am not happy for them. It's just that I want what they have. I want to hold my sweet baby in my arms, but I can't do that. All I have are memories. 

Everyday, I walk by a nursery that is empty. I walk by my son's urn. I cuddle in his blanket and cry. Always looking for a sign of him. And my sweet baby always shows me that he is still here beside me. 

One day I will get over this jealousy. Right now it is still just too fresh. <3  


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